So what good are they?

Sitting with my thoughts.

It’s sometimes a difficult thing to do. I almost always know where it leads, but every now and then, I surprise myself with a new idea. A profound thought that makes sitting or lying in the quiet all worth it.

Not this time, though.

I’ve been lying with my thoughts all day, just after church, and it’s the usual process. It begins with thinking about where I am, but even that isn’t straightforward. Sometimes, it’s an overwhelming flood of all the projects I have running and how to maximise output, build sustainable systems.

Other times, I’m relatively pleased with the progress I’ve made, with my team, with the people close to me, across these projects. Still, on certain days, I find myself unsure why I began any of it in the first place. Why do we work so hard? And I was talking about this with my girlfriend just yesterday.

From there, it’s: what next?

And honestly, it’s mentally draining. I like to believe I have systems in place, and that I’m just waiting on time. But the thing about having a system in place is trusting that the system or process continues to work as you imagine it until it pays off exactly as you see in your mind’s eye.

On most days, I’m grateful to have these, other times, including today, I want more from these systems and processes. Today is one of those days. Is it impatience or a lack of trust in the process?

I don’t know. Truly.

Being a Christian, sometimes it’s difficult to recognize your plans and the plans of GOD concerning your life; this has been my experience. Is my system GOD’s system? Am I trusting in my own ability more than I am trusting HIM? Is my system HIS sytem for me?

My thoughts often bring me here. And when they do, I usually bail myself out by playing my worship playlist, thinking through it until I’m just humming along, ready to call it a day.

It’s the same today, and it’s playing as I write. Except this time, I opened Ecclesiastes, one of my favorite books. Chapter 6, verses 10 to 11:

10. Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with GOD about your destiny.

11. The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they?